Blogging moment!

-Apr 25, 2025-

So I may or may not have started learning html recently and I gotta say, it's been pretty fun so far! This site might be getting a big overhaul at some point in the near future. I know it hasn't been THAT long since I made the site, but since I kept running into issues with the way I worked on it (mostly just copy-pasting stuff), I wanted to actually understand how html and css work better. I haven't been at it for that long but I feel way more confident in my skills.

In learning, I decided to use an external html editor that allows me to see a live preview of my site as I work on it, which helps A TON. Now I don't have to constantly press the save and view buttons on Neocities' html editor to make sure everything works. I've already built a couple pages for the new version of the site, thought I'm going to keep at it for now until I can get the site just how I want it. It probably won't be uploaded here for a while, but I've been having a blast with it so far!

I'm still gonna upload any art I make in the meantime to this version of the site, and still upload blogs and stuff, thought I probably won't be making major updates here. I'll also transfer all art, blogs and oc profiles to the new version, and will be keeping this version of the site available once the new one is up, so nothing will be lost! I'm also adding the about page I said I wanted to add last time to the new site, as well as a resources page with links for the stuff I used to help build it!

Honestly all of this has been super exciting for me. I love learning new fun things!!! And making things!!! I love creating!!!!!! It's also been a nice thing to pass time and unwind after work. I wanna continue working on it and even making more of my own assets and such, like new pagedolls and a unique background and maybe even a header. I'm not super sure about all the little details I wanna add just yet, and it's likely I'll be adding more after the site's up.

If you had told me a couple years ago that I would be learning to code and building my own website from scratch, I would have laughed in your face. I never thought I'd get here.

Unrelated, but I also read Is Love The Answer? by Uta Isaki and like. wow. Good shit.

Anyway I think that's all I wanna talk about today. Leaning new skills is fun :]

-Apr 22, 2025-

Very tired today, but I have Thoughts and I wanna talk about them.

So i'm considering adding an about page so people can know a bit more about. y'know. me. This is a personal website after all, and I wanna add things that make it More Personal.

I also wanna add more widgets and stuff, but I tried adding one that shows the current phase of the moon and it didn't work lol. Which is weird because it's an iframe and the cbox (which is also an iframe) works just fine but like idk what I'm doing Ever. I'm also too tired to care much. Maybe I'll try some other time.

I've also started thinking about an old fully original project called Eterna. It was a worldbuilding/story thing with a couple OCs tied to it. I kinda wanna redesign them (again) but I'm worried I'll end up not doing anything substantial with it. I only ever got to redesign characters a couple times and talk about some of the lore on Tumblr, but it was (and still is) kinda half-baked. Maybe I'll find enough time and motivation to do something with it. I miss those characters and genuinely wanna bring them back but I honestly have a hard time balancing multiple creative projects + irl shit. So who knows.

Speaking of not having time and motivation Jesus fuck am I tired of my job already. Maybe that's on me for choosing a job at [insert name brand] shoe store and not something more slower-paced as my first job but like. Holy shit it's rough. I'm exhausted and I literally just started like. a couple months ago.

Then again it was the first job I applied to that actually went past the application phase and gave me an interview (which I FUMBLED SUPER HARD BTW IDK HOW I GOT HERE) so I might not even HAVE a job today if I didn't. So.

Anyway. I'm experiencing critical levels of eepy right now. Probably gonna go to bed early. Everyone say hi to Luna I don't have a picture of her this time but she is watching me as I type this lol

-Apr 20, 2025-

Wanna talk about different things today. First- I played Ena Dream BBQ recently.

You may have noticed by the fact that there is a little polygonal Creature now in my gallery.

It might be pretty much all I can think about right now. Ena has my brain on a chokehold. Specifically BBQ Ena. One of the most appealing character designs I have ever seen that doesn't fall under the big fluffy beast category. I want to eat her.

Anyway I based the design heavily on Sonic the Werehog because OF COURSE. Also made them as furry as an ena could possibly be. The other side tho is mostly based on Merlina from SATBK. I took characters from my two favorite Sonic game stories and slapped them together into one silly little guy.

Honestly cannot wait for the next chapter because the surrealist art and themes scratch an itch in my brain I didn't know I had. I already beat chapter one multiple times and I want to get all the achievements available so far. I need to see EVERYTHING it has to offer. That's probably the highest compliment a game can get from me.

Second thing I wanna talk about, totally unrelated to the first thing- I guess I just wanna vent about some confusing feelings.

Sometimes I hate having certain features. Particularly my breasts. I don't like them. I don't want them on me. I would much rather have a flatter chest. It's why I draw my sona without them.

But sometimes they're... fine? Like I go a while without really thinking about it and not really hating them. But then the thought hits and it's like "Oh :/".

I wear a binder when I can, which is not all that often to be honest. Mostly when I go out with my family to eat or something because I know we won't be out too long (I can't stand having anything itchy on for long). But the majority of the time when I'm home or at work I just wear bras.

I think it doesn't help that I'm not out as genderqueer to most people I know irl. I'm only really out to my mom, and while she's supportive, I don't think she really Gets It, y'know? Not like I need her to, but like. I'd be nice if I knew more people irl who did.

That was kind of a tangent. Anyway, sometimes I consider surgery (whenever I'm independent enough and have enought savings for it, that is) but I'm also scared of regretting it. Though I'm always scared of making decisions like that I guess. Because I feel like I can live with my body as it is. I don't LIKE it, but I can live with it. But do I WANT to?

I don't know. Though I guess there's no real point in worrying about it too much, since I can't do anything about it.

It still makes me wanna bash my head into a wall.

Anyway (how many times have I said that now? Three?) I don't wanna end my second ever blog on a sour note, so here's a picture of Luna reading PEAK (dunmeshi) with me. She has good taste.

-Apr 9, 2025-

First blog moment! Honestly not super sure what to talk about? Idk what ppl do for these things tbh. Do I just like. ramble? I wanna ramble. I like doing that.

I think I'll just talk about some of my art first! Specifically the monochrome Sonic + Dark Sonic pieces bc there's some context to them ppl aren't getting with just the drawings alone.

To start, they're pretty much almost entirely inspired by In Stars and Time. I played it, enjoyed it thouroughly, and thought "I wanna see Sonic going through that. Put Sonic through The Horrors (timeloop)."

There's like. an entire story in my head for this. I tried writing it, and got to like chapter 3 before the brainrot died down. I want to keep going with it but idk. I got to a point with it where I was criticizing literally everything about what I'd written so far so. who knows lmao.

Wouldn't be the first time it's happened tbh. I had another multi-chapter fic I'd posted on Tumblr called Project: New Moon (real ones remember) and I actually finished it and was super proud of it for a while. But after some time I started to hate everything about it and stopped updating the blog altogether. And that's the one I actually finished. The previous versions of the story (called Sonic Eclipse) never got to the ending for pretty much the same reasons.

So anyway, back to the art. It's got heavy inspo from ISAT, so Dark Sonic in these pieces represents something similar to [BIG ENDGAME SPOILER]. He's not really like. a person? More like a manifestation in Sonic's brain embodying his repressed trauma and bottled up negative emotions. The hedgehog has gone through a lot, so I like the idea of him having a moment when he's a bit older, where he finally just. breaks. The mask he didn't even know he wore starts cracking bit by bit until it shatters and all of the things he kept inside for years start to spill out. And it manifests as a dark image of himself in his mind that tries to kill him like. metaphorically.

I'm so normal chat (lying)

Tbh I also kinda just like drawing him scared. I like pushing his expressions in a way you don't typically see in official stuff, so finding ways to make extreme emotions work on him is just a good drawing excercise. And I wanted to draw Dark Sonic again also. He's cool. Sega should do something with him like genuinely it would go so hard.

Alright, I think I'm done rambling for today. Have a picture of my cat that I really like (her name is Luna :])